literature

Aggeeks

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Literature Text

(Sunny is crouched on one of the spires of the Death Star. She is dressed as Rorschach, but her trademark nose and glasses belie who is underneath the mask.) [Squirrel carcass in the bike circle this morning. This school is afraid of me. I've seen it's true grades.]
(Now she is sitting in class, still in costume.) [They will ask, "Are you excited about the Watchmen movie?" and I will whisper, "No duh."] (A generic student sits next to her) GS: "This isn't psychology class, you know. That inkblot face isn't impressing anyone."

(Bob is sweeping up in the Coffee House.) "Om." "Nom." "Nom."
(Close-up of Sunny's face in the foreground. Her mask is shoved up and she is messily eating pizza. Bob is in the background, wearing an apron and holding a broom.) "You know, the reason we have two-for-one pizza slices is because some pizzas are messed up. I could spot you if you wanna buy some normal ones." "No need. Fine like this." (Sunny holds out an issue of the California Aggie to him.) "Here. Belonged to the Artist. The ink, too. We've been canceled."

Sunny: "Looks like someone is targeting cartoonists. Thought you should know." Bob: "I'm working at the Coffee House and taking chem classes. I don't read those crappy comics. That's what the internet is for." Sunny: "Yeah, like we used to be." She goes to leave. Bob tries to call her back. "Yeah, those were good times. What happened?" "You quit."

Bonita is getting dressed backstage with Shelly. The former is putting on a leotard, the latter in an obvious Silk Spectre homage. "Fiddlesticks, I misplaced my script in my previous class!" "Well, hurry and get it, silly!" Bonita is inside another classroom now. There's a voice outside. "Bonita, get out of there! Some undergrads are going to begin their final painting project!" "Do not worry yourself, I'm used to a little paint. Whatever are they doing? It sounds most interesting." "It's a Jackson Pollack homage. With fire hoses." Bonita looks wide-eyed and forlorn. "Phooey."

Bonita is splattered with paint from all sides in an homage to the origin of Doctor Manhattan.

Sunny is in the house now, talking to Shelly, drawn as the Silk Spectre, and Bonita, the paint making her resemble Doctor Manhattan. Bonita: "A paper with comics has the same pages as a paper without comics. There is no literary difference." Shelly: "Why do we even print a paper, anyway? It would make more sense to just dump dead trees straight into a local landfill." Sunny: "It took me a long time to make this costume, so I'm not leaving until I've had my - " Bonita shoves Sunny out the front door comically. "Ooof."

Bonita is by herself, standing in the quad. Generic students are in the background. "Is that chick totally blue?" She is pensively observing a photo of her, Bob, and Sunny. [It is 2004 and I'm living with two roommates, one male, one female. I am the perky comedy relief in an obscure internet comic. Now it is 2009, I am now a UC Davis student. I am still the perky comedy relief. I will always be the perky comedy relief. I never change.] She lets the photo fall from her hands.

Shelly and Bonita are now staring at rack after rack of servers. "Behold. These are on constantly, generating great quantities of heat. They also generate great quantities of wind to cool their circuits. We have a whole wind tunnel, a fleet of tiny furnaces, a whole world, keeping digital comics alive, just as a side effect of giving our campus internet. The existence of print comics is a highly overrated medium. This place gets along just fine without a single paper page."

Still in the server room. "I know you wish for me to preserve our own comic strip. But why should I? You aren't even fond of me. You hate me for my pretentious speech and continuous perkiness." "Huh? I've always been nice to you." "But you will tell me you hate me in the last panel." "@%*#, I hate it when you break the forth wall! Are you trying to get even more cliche!?" "Gotcha." Shelly rolls her eyes. "Alright, I'll give you that one."

"What do I owe print comics? All they do is waste paper and ink. Even with all the electricity it takes to keep these servers running, it still produces a far smaller carbon footprint to just look it up online! And... " Flashback to Yarrum looking stunned, as the Comedian did when Silk Specture rejected him, and a shot of Shelly as she is being drawn. After the flashback, Shelly looks devastated. "Well, there's that forth wall again... hah."

Bonita embraces a crying Shelly. "No, it's alright... it is quite alright. You were created specifically for this comic strip. Without print comics, you would not exist. That is why they matter. They have inspired countless artists. They inspired us." "What happens now?" "I am not sure. The forth wall only allows me so much meta-knowledge. Perhaps caused by a plot twist. We should go back to the surface, I am quite cold." "In that leotard, no wonder."

Sunny as Ozymandias stands in front of a monitor in the M.U. Bob as Nite-Owl and Shelly stand in front of her. "I had to remind people of what print comics could do. The power they had. Why they were necessary. So, I decided to make it so that the only thing any internet-ready computer on campus can do is display Alan Moore's Watchmen in its entirety." Bob: "That's... crazy, Sunny. When were you planning on doing this?" Shelly: "Yeah, you know we're not gonna let you do it." Sunny: "Don't worry, the stupid IT department stopped me anyway. I'll probably get my PhD before I get my account back."

Sunny and Bonita are outside the MU. Sunny is wearing her Rorschach trenchcoat again, but without a mask. "That was a stupid plan. I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid... hit me." "I shall not." Sunny bends over, points at her head. "No, I'm serious. Bop me a good one. Just do it." Bonita WHOMP!s Sunny into the ground. From off-panel: "... scratch that, this is why I'm stupid... "

The next strip probably involves Bonita taking a shower, as a sort of inside joke to this arc.
Consider this a sort of "what if" based on this: [link] If I hadn't graduated a year ago, and hadn't been rejected, and had been taken up for a second year's run... this is probably what I would've run during January, and possibly February as well. I'd like to have drawn this, but it's just too small to stand on its own, yet too big for me to handle right now.

Please forgive the inside jokes based on my alma mater. I'm sure at least a few of you will get it.
© 2009 - 2024 Yarrum
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